July 28, 2009

Holy Crap, I'm gonna be a Daddy!

Still coming to grips with this whole thing. I couldn't be more excited about our "sweetpea". Sarah's showing now and I've been faithfully reading my daddy book so I know what to expect and what to do. We've been making strides though. We're nesting in a traditional sense: accepting generous gifts from friends; we bought a crib, changing table, baby monitor and even registered at BabiesRus; and I've accepted the fact that my beloved blue arm chair will be sent off to live a better life on a farm somewhere. But somehow, I know there's nothing that could prepare me for this experience.

We visited our good friends Neil and Mary this weekend in Idaho. We were happy to be joined by our neighbors Nicole and Petie who have a 4 year old and a one and a half year old, both girls. The weekend was stress-free and wonderful. For me though, the highlight had to be while we were watching the kids as Nicole and Petie shared a rare mountain bike ride together. Their kids are amazing. Zöe was one of the reasons we wanted to have a baby in the first place. And Margot, the youngest, is a handful to say the least. But she's very cute. After a few hours alone they got antsy. Margot wanted to follow her big sister Zöe around. When she started getting frustrated I took that as a queue that she was tired. I picked her up and carried her around, drawing her attention to pictures around the house. I noticed she was going along with it and started resisting less and less. I started bouncing up and down as I walked because I've seen people do this. Eventually, I noticed her head wobbling as the little sack of potatoes I had been holding was now turning into a sack of jello. When she finally fell asleep I took it as a huge victory and sat down with her on the couch. But I was surprised to discover how at peace I felt in coming moments, as she melted into my chest. This little drooling mess and I were experiencing a symbiotic kind of joy where each of our needs were being met at once. She was getting the rest she needed. And I, having been very busy with work and stressed about our baby lately, I suddenly had no place more important to be. It was a very reassuring feeling to know that (A) I might be pretty good at this and (B) I think I'm really going to enjoy this.

Tomorrow we have an appointment for an ultrasound. We should (fingers crossed) find out the sex of our baby. I truly don't care what kind of baby it is. But I'm looking forward to being one step closer to having the privilege of being a daddy.